Dear God

I'm sick.  Not to state the obvious, but I'm really sick.  It's 4:00, and I should be at work.  But I just can't make it.  I'm getting worse.  I can feel it.  I dry-heaved so hard the past couple of days that my nose bled.  When I pray for the vomiting to stop, Lord, that's not exactly what I had in mind.  The nausea keeps me awake at night, and I'm sore from sleeping upright in my dad's recliner.  I'm physically and mentally tired.  Even my bones seem heavy.  One of my main motivations for toughing it out each day is being able to work with the kids each day.  It gives me purpose.  But now as I am becoming sicker, work is becoming harder for me to manage.  Being unable to work today has been an emotional straw that has broken my spirit's back.  I need God.

Dear God, 

You are everything, and I am nothing.  I need you more than ever.  I'm so tired, God!  The stress of the sickness is leading me to despair.  I want so much to glorify Your name, but I feel like I don't have the energy.  That's no excuse, I know, but I'm just being honest.  I need Your help, God.  It's YOU who gets me through the day, and it's YOU I want to live for.  You alone are my strength, and I ask that You bless me with that strength.  Give me the courage to praise Your wonderful name when I am down; equip me with a spirit that can always proclaim, "It is well with my soul!" even the circumstances seem to disagree.  Lord, please forgive my weakness! I don't want to become  fair-weather Christian that worships only in calm waters.  Inspire me, God, to shout to You, to love You, to praise You when I am shipwrecked in an untamed sea!  I want to live for You, and You alone, God.  You are all I'll ever need.  If I am never healed, I will be okay, because I have You.  Thank you for hearing me! It comforts me to know that You are there.  I ask, dear God, that when I have days like today, when the life is overwhelming, that You wrap me in Your arms, and please God, never let go!  I need Your encouragement.  Sometimes I just wish that I could walk to Your throne, and crawl up into Your heavenly lap.  You are such a gracious Father!  Thank you for all the blessings You have given me so freely!  I don't deserve to have a Father as perfectly wonderful as You!  Thank you for saving me so that we can always be together!  Shine upon me!  Give me Your strength so that I can carry on Your will!  Thank you, Lord, for this burden I bear, I have learned so much about You through this illness!  I am more than thankful for the experience of knowing You better.  Enable my family and I to persevere through this disease so that Your name can be praised!  Just tell me what to do, God.  I live only for You.

Your humble, grateful, and loving daughter,

Stephanie